Time

Time and time again I try to be a better person. I try to change myself and my thinking into something better than that dark place it is now.
No luck. The more I seem to get better the harder I always fall. As you probably know from my first post, I'm not good with emotional stuff, I tend to bottle everything until I can't and then I say something that's on my mind for a while and it transforms into something completely different. Ugh... How I hate this...
Not so long ago, my bottle got accidentally open and spilled a little bit of bullshit on my bestie/ex-gf which resulted in an argument (of course), I was called names and in the end we both cried and I apologized....
Since then I feel a lot more like a thrash, like an unwanted thing, like someone who you don't want to see...
I want to disappear.

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